


only miss the sun when it starts to snow

by roseyong



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Guardian Angels, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst and Feels, Crying, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, hyunjin is a human and jisung is his guardian angel, i am sorry it's this angsty hnn, i listened to passenger's let her go and it shows lmfao, i mean take that with a grain of salt lol, it's not shown though so dw abt that, jinnie calls sungie nicknames such as sunshine and buttercup bc yes, jisung also has freckles and curly hair in this au bc that shit is cute okay, jisung gets his wings cut off, like a lot oop, u can decide how it ends but i mean..., um oh wow i didn't mean to make the ending like this but uh yeah
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-09
Updated: 2020-10-09
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:41:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26910820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roseyong/pseuds/roseyong
Summary: “Promise me that you won’t laugh?” Hyunjin nodding as he watches as Jisung slowly begins to unfurl his wings, the angel’s heart threatening to beat right out of his chest; he’s that terrified of how Hyunjin will react. Who, speaking of, has gone oddly quiet, his expression frighteningly unreadable. “Well?”“You’re beautiful,” And Jisung, like the lovestruck idiot that he is, blushes, something which in turn has Hyunjin’s own cheeks flushing, “I, uh meant that your wings are...I um, yeah.”(a guardian angel hyunsung au)
Relationships: Han Jisung | Han/Hwang Hyunjin
Comments: 4
Kudos: 84





	only miss the sun when it starts to snow

**Author's Note:**

> oh, worm? a bday fic that's a whole month and 9 days early? yeah bUT anyways, happy birthday! i truly love and appreciate you and yeah i'm so glad u decided to introduce me to skz back in like 2018??? i think??? idk can't remember but the point is ur all grown up now and yeah that's kinda wack ngl
> 
> anyhow, i hope this hyunsung angel au makes u smile! but it may make u cry now that i think abt it...moviNG ON
> 
> enjoy the fic every1!

“Oh my god,” And Jisung can only whine, averting his eyes as he hears Hyunjin suck in a sharp breath before shakily exhaling, “Jisung-”

“Don’t say it, Jinnie,” He whispers, his voice cracking as he starts to feel a wetness gathering at his waterline, “It’s okay, I’m okay,” Though they both know that his words were anything but true, and Hyunjin winces, moving to cup the smaller’s face in his hands. Swallowing down the lump in his throat as his heart shatters in two, Hyunjin himself beginning to tear up upon seeing the tears that stubbornly clung to Jisung’s eyelashes like dew on a spider’s web.

“Jisung, but your-”

“Hyunjin, _please_.” Jisung sniffles, tearing away from Hyunjin to wipe at his eyes, his bottom lip quivering, “Please just drop it.”

“But-”

_“Please,”_ Hyunjin mumbling an apology as he pulls Jisung into his arms, holding him so gently it’s almost as if he fears that Jisung will somehow break, murmuring an _“it’s okay Sungie, it’s okay to cry, my love,”_ as he rocks him. “Jinnie, I-” Trying desperately to hold back his tears because crying in front of Hyunjin was the _last_ thing that Jisung wanted right now, but, of course, the older boy isn’t going to let that happen. Not on his watch.

“Shhh, I’m here,” Hyunjin soothes, pressing a kiss to Jisung’s forehead when he shudders, his nose flushed pink and eyes oh so glassy, a telltale sign that he’s about to cry, “It’s okay, I’ve got you.”

And then and only then do the tears start to fall. 

\---

They don’t speak about it—the incident that is. 

Hyunjin’s tried, of course, in between the dressing changes that Jisung so vehemently protests, not even bothering to muffle his sobs as he has no choice but to let Hyunjin do as he pleased. _“It’s for your own good Jisungie, okay?”_ A voice that sounds suspiciously like Chan’s echoes in the back of Jisung’s mind, the blonde hissing as Hyunjin applies a more than necessary amount of rosehip salve to the now smooth expanse of his sunshine speckled back.

_“Hey, Sungie?”_ Hyunjin would try to start, only to trail off when Jisung curls in on himself, fingernails digging into the palms of his hands, signaling to Hyunjin that it was best to drop it altogether. _“Oh, uh, never mind.”_

But no matter how much Hyunjin tries to push, nothing ever comes of it.

_Nothing ever does._

\---

_“Jinnie,” Hyunjin’s mother had crooned, coaxing her son out from where he was hiding behind her, his tiny hand gripping tightly at her skirt, “This is Jisung-ah,” And Hyunjin peeps his head out to get a look at Jisung, who’s studying him with a scowl, a pout playing on his lips. “Can you say hello?”_

_And Hyunjin just shakes his head no, ducking back behind her with a tiny squeak._

_“Hyunjinnie, baby-”_

_“Scaredy-cat,” Jisung’s voice startling Hyunjin, “What a scaredy-cat,” Sticking his tongue out at Hyunjin for good measure, doe-eyes twinkling mischievously._

_“Am not!” He fires back, fists balled, and Jisung only smirks, annoying Hyunjin even more._

_“Are too!”_

_“Am not!” Hyunjin’s cheeks hot with a mixture of embarrassment and anger, “I just didn’t wanna say hello to a midget like you!” Emphasizing the word “you” as he glares daggers at Jisung, who reddens, crossing his arms over his chest with a huff._

_“Oh, yeah?! Well, it’s not like I wanted to say hi to you either!”_

\---

“Should I have strawberry jam or raspberry jam?” And Jisung just shrugs, pushing around the remains of his breakfast with his chopsticks, not feeling up for Hyunjin’s attempts at small talk.

“I don’t know Jinnie,” He mumbles, “Why don’t you text Lixie and ask?” Jisung somewhat angrily jabbing at a piece of honeydew with a sigh, “Though he’d probably be team strawberry for what it’s worth,” His eyes slipping shut as he sets his chopsticks down, feeling slightly bad for shutting down Hyunjin like that, but today simply wasn’t _it._

Something which Hyunjin (obviously) picks up on, frowning as he sets down the two jars, “Sungie?” Making his way over to the table and sitting down next to Jisung, “You okay?”

“No,” Jisung answers honestly, surprising both Hyunjin and himself, “I’m not.”

“What’s up, buttercup?” Whatever tension that there was between them lessening when Jisung lets out a small laugh, wrinkling his nose at the nickname. 

“Buttercup? Seriously?” 

“Shut up,” Though there’s no malice to Hyunjin’s voice, a stupid looking grin on his stupidly handsome face, “But I do mean it, so what’s up?”

“Just a bit sad, I guess,” Jisung says, shrugging his shoulders again, an action that has him grimacing, “But it could always be worse-”

“You’re in pain, aren’t you?” And it’s not even phrased like a question, though that’s probably only because Hyunjin knows Jisung like the back of his hand, the raven sparing a quick glance at Jisung’s back before his eyes flicker back to his face.

“What? No, I’m not-”

“Yes, you _are_ ,” Hyunjin mutters as he takes Jisung’s hand in his, leading them away from the table and into the safety of their bedroom, “Shirt off, now,”

“Jinnie, I said that I’m fine-”

“Shirt. Off. Now.” And Jisung knows that there’s no getting out of this one, grumbling under his breath as he slips off his sweater, looking down at the ground as he waits for Hyunjin to say something, _anything._ The bandages wrapped tightly around his torso, making it slightly hard to breathe, and god does Jisung sympathize with Jeongin. ( _All the more reasons to raise enough money for his surgery, though.)_

“See? I told you that I was fine-”

“You’re such a shit liar,” Hyunjin scowls as he runs a finger over Jisung’s bandaged back, making him yelp, “So, how much pain are you in on a scale of one to ten?”

“A one.”

“Han Jisung, I swear to fucking god-”

“Uh,” He pauses, turning around to face Hyunjin, “Physically or mentally?” His question throwing Hyunjin for a loop, as Jisung wasn’t one to typically express such vulnerability, or at least express it _willingly_ that is.

“Both?”

“About an eight,” Which is true, as the wounds _were_ taking their sweet time healing up, “But mentally? Well, let’s just say that I don’t even think that I can count that high.”

\---

_“Promise me that you won’t laugh?” Hyunjin nodding as he watches as Jisung slowly begins to unfurl his wings, the angel’s heart threatening to beat right out of his chest; he’s that terrified of how Hyunjin will react. Who, speaking of, has gone oddly quiet, his expression frighteningly unreadable. “Well?”_

_“You’re beautiful,” And Jisung, like the lovestruck idiot that he is, blushes, something which in turn has Hyunjin’s own cheeks flushing, “I, uh meant that your wings are...I um, yeah.”_

_“Oh, well, thank you,” Jisung biting his lip to keep from laughing at just how flustered Hyunjin looks, “For calling me, not my wings, beautiful that is,”_

_“Shut up!”_

\---

“Jinnie,” Jisung whispers, shaking Hyunjin awake, “Jinnie wake up,” Jisung’s nightlight casting hues of amber on the walls of their bedroom. Something which usually served to soothe the angel but today only made his nighttime anxiety worse, memories of the incident flashing by like a slideshow on the inside of his eyelids.

“Sungie?” Hyunjin’s sleepily slurs, sitting up with a yawn, rubbing the sleep away from his eyes, “Sunshine? You okay?”

“Do you still find me beautiful?” And Hyunjin selfishly feels like crying even though he’s not the one who’s hurting here, “You know, now that the most beautiful part of me is gone.” 

“Jisung, your wings weren’t what made you beautiful-”

“Yes, they were,” Jisung replies, his voice trembling, “You said so yourself,” Hyunjin wishing that he owned a time machine so that he could go back in time and kick his sixteen-year-old self’s ass, “So please don’t lie to me.” 

“Jisung, please, you know I didn’t mean it-”

“I know, I know...and I’m sorry,” Jisung apologizing even though he knows Hyunjin’s already forgiven him, though knowing him, he probably wasn’t even upset in the first place. “I just...I...It hurts Hyunjin, it really fucking hurts.”

“I know, baby, but you’re still _you_ Jisung,” Hyunjin using the pads of his fingers to gently wipe away Jisung’s tears, _“You’re still the same Jisung that I fell in love all those years ago,”_

\---

_“Sungie?” Jisung looking up from his notes with a hum, “What’s the best part about being an angel?”_

_“I don’t know,” His answer making Hyunjin pout, to which Jisung merely rolls his eyes, “Why do you ask?”_

_“Just because,” The human barely managing to dodge the pencil that’s thrown his way, letting out a surprised squawk, “Yah! I was just asking a question!”_

_“And what did I say about asking stupid questions?!”_

_“To not?”_

_“And what did you just do?”_

_“...Fuck you.”_

\---

And it’s nights like these when Hyunjin misses Jisung the most.

The human tying his hair up as he lets his eyes flutter shut with a sigh, thinking back to when life was simpler, the ghost of a smile tugging at his lips but still not quite finding its way there.

_“Though with someone like you in my life, I guess there never was such a thing as a simpler time, hm?”_ Hyunjin muses, chuckling quietly to himself, _“Not that I’m complaining, of course.”_

The newfound loneliness that he feels despite having Jisung right by his side only making him realize just how much he misses the brash Jisung, the Jisung who somehow managed to get on every single one of his nerves and then some, the Jisung who danced like no one else was watching—the Jisung that was _his_ Jisung.

_(But that Jisung was no more.)_

_“That stupid song was right,”_ Hyunjin thinks bitterly, watching the steady rising and falling of Jisung’s chest, the dried tear tracks on his cheeks filling him an emotion that he doesn’t have the ability to be able to vocalize, _“You_ _only need the light when it's burning low...only miss the sun when it starts to snow…”_

\---

_“Hey, Jinnie?”_

_“Yeah?” Hyunjin dogearing the page that he’s on before setting aside his comic book, “You okay? Because you look like you’re actually using your brain for once, which is like something that you never do.”_

_“Okay rude,” Jisung stomping down on Hyunjin’s foot before he plops down next to him, “But I just wanted to say that I have an answer now.”_

_“An answer?” And yeah, Seungmin was right, Jisung is attracted to idiots and idiots only, “To what?”_

_“To the question that you asked me the other day,” Hyunjin tilting his head in confusion, which has Jisung sighing because leave it to Hyunjin to forget his own question somehow._

_“Which was?”_

_“The best part about being an angel,” Watching as the gears in Hyunjin’s brain slowly but surely begin to turn, “Remember?”_

_“Vaguely,” Hyunjin says, lacing their hands together, “So, care to tell me just what the best part about being an angel even is? Hm?”_

_“You,” Jisung answers without missing a beat, “The best part about being an angel is you.”_

\---

“I love you, Sungie,” Hyunjin’s murmurs once he’s 100% certain that Jisung’s asleep, “I love you so much.” Pressing one last kiss to Jisung’s forehead, his fingers gently carding through Jisung’s curly locks. “And I’ll be okay, okay? So please don’t worry about me, your happiness is my happiness.”

_(You can go, it’s okay, my love_ — _it’s okay.)_

\---

_There are three fundamental rules for being a guardian angel, all of which Jisung knows inside and out._

_1) You must never fall in love with your human. Why? Because it’ll only lead to heartbreak on your behalf, as after all, humans are no more than a speckle of dust in a galaxy unknown._

_2) You must never ever show your human your wings. It’s simply too risky seeing as they are, in a way, the physical manifestation of your soul._

_3) And lastly and not to mention most importantly, should you somehow lose your wings, well, let’s just say that your fate has sealed itself._

_But despite Jisung knowing these three fundamental rules inside and out, he still somehow managed to break all three._

**Author's Note:**

> i'm sorry i made it sad but uhhhh i can't write anything but angst but y'know hopefully u all enjoyed it anyways! yes, i left a lot of stuff blank/didn't rlly expand on x or y, but it's purposeful bc yes 
> 
> oH! feedback is cool *peace sign emoji*
> 
> oh! find me on twt @catboyharuto


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